Monday, May 18, 2015

My Purpose

My dearest loved ones, 

Alright, I'm going to do something a little different than what I have been usually doing. Instead of telling about my week day by day and mentioning everyone and their dog, I'm going to focus on something that I have learned this week and kind of tie it to my experience in the MTC. I realize I didn't mention a lot about what I learned in the MTC. The 12 days I was there made a huge impact on my life and is so dear to me that I would like to share them with ya'll.

So, the first day in the MTC was full of emotions...nervous, anxious, exciting, sad, stressed, a little mad because I didn't go running that morning, and numb. I can barely remember what happened the first few minutes I walked in, because everything was happening so fast, but I just couldn't stop smiling because I was so excited! I just remember everyone being so happy and extremely nice! I would walk down the halls with my name tag, that had an orange dot on it, and instantly everyone would say "Welcome to the MTC!!" I thought it was a bit weird how everyone was so nice, but I loved it! 

When we met our companions and district we all headed to the main building to meet the Presidency with all the other newbys. I think it was President that came up to me and said "Why are you so happy?" I simply said "I'm just happy to be here!" Haha he just laughed and said that's good. After the meeting we got together for an activity, which was AMAZING!! There were three investigators in different rooms and we would spend at least 45 minutes in each room. Hearing their personal experiences, trials that they've had, or are currently going through. It was really interesting to hear what other missionaries had to say. But hearing everyone's input and how much they knew, I started feeling like I did't know enough, I shouldn't be here on a mission, and that I simply should just go home. I started to beat down on myself and got really discouraged. We later we talked about our purpose as missionaries and that was just what I needed.

"My purpose is to invite others unto Christ by helping them receive the restored gospel through faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end."     -Preach My Gospel pg. 1

My purpose as a missionary isn't for me. I'm representing Christ and I am serving the people of California. I share a name tag with Christ. I am honored to share that with His name. In order for us to fulfill our purpose as missionaries we need to do 3 things:

1. Be an example
We become leaders to the ones we are teaching. They come to us for help and guidance. We are representing Christ and his service here on Earth. Not only do we need to lead and be an example of Christ but we need to practice what we preach. It's simply not possible for us to teach someone by the spirit and expect them to do something if we ourselves aren't living the principles of the gospel.

2. Love
Like I mentioned before, we are representing Christ and we are also representing His love. Christ came to this earth, knowing exactly what was going to happen, but that didn't stop him from doing His work. To serve. To set them straight! And to love them with all His heart. Even after He was crucified, He came down with arms wide open. So forgiving to all and He wants us to come to Him.

3. Have Faith in yourself
If you don't have faith in yourself, how can you possibly have faith in your investigators?? We have been given authorized power so he can work through us. We have been called by the prophet. He obviously thinks we can do this, so does our Heavenly Father, and so should we.

Before my mission I was a little scared. I'm going out and sharing something that is so precious to me. But I've learned that I can do everything in my power and share my testimony with others, but they have the agency to except it or not. It's all according to the Lord's plan. And who knows, down the road I made a difference in their lives.

D&C 4,6,11,14 and 16
The fields are white, ready to harvest. The lord has prepared the way for us and we need to harvest the work with all our heart, might, mind and strength. We might have to be the ones that plant those seeds.

    "People don't care about what you know they just want to know that you care."   -Elder Fa

Lately we have been doing a lot of service and not as many lessons, but I think that our actions speak more than words. We just need to serve with our hearts.

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. 
He that feareth is not made perfect in love. We love him, because he first loved us.
1 John 4:18-19

At times I might think I won't be a good enough missionary or that I can't do this. But one thing that I learned is that it doesn't matter on how much you know, because what you do know is enough. I have my testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ, that these things are true, and that's really all I need. I was talking to my companion the other day and told her that it doesn't matter how many baptisms I have or if have any all, I know I am doing the best thing I could ever do, and to me, that is serving our Father in Heaven. I mean don't get me wrong I would love to have a lot baptisms but just as long as I know I'm doing what I'm suppose to, and bringing the gospel to those who don't know, and giving them the chance to accept it is all that matters. God has prepared these sweet people and I am here ready for them when they are ready. When they have that desire to know more. I could go through my whole mission without a baptism and I would be okay with that. But knowing that I made a difference in someone's life by serving them is all that matters to me. And who knows, maybe years later, they will have the chance to see missionaries again and remember me, and want to know more. We are all on the Lord's time and we just need to be patient. I need to lose myself in this work and be the best missionary I can.

He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.
Matthew 10:39 

"If you want to baptize one person talk to one person if you want to baptize a few people talk to a few people but if you want to baptize everyone talk to everyone"   -Elder Gillies

Our missionary purpose isn't just for the mission, it's for our everyday lives. By the way we are living the gospel, others will see how it makes us happy. They will see the light in your eyes and they'll desire to want to have that too. Heavenly Father puts people in our lives for a reason. It may be that they help us through what we are going through, but we too can help them by sharing what is so dear to our hearts. Don't be selfish! Share what you know. What's the worse thing that can happen? They don't want it? Well, then that's ok. We all have the chance to know about the truth. And they have their agency. We just have to keep trying and to love them. So this week I challenge all of you to share what you know to someone who is feeling down or doesn't know. Text them a scripture. I promise that if you do, not only will you feel better, but you will make a difference in someone's life.

Alright, so this week has been really hard. My eating disorders have been getting harder to fight. Sister Smith was getting pretty worried and suggested I call President Marston. Later today I will be meeting with him about everything. But I truly am happy, I'm just dealing with a little trial. I can do this with the Lord's help. I know all things are possible. I love you all so dearly and hope things are going well. 

Love, Sister Tay Tay